choice

Giving way

recoverymaybeLeave a comment

Next step after being on a ward? Going to a recovery unit. Do I want to go? TBD.

Against

No leave for 2 weeks. That’s pretty much all my negatives.

It’s better than it was a couple of months ago, no leave at all; fortunately their policy has changed since then.

Would I have been under pressure (encouraged, advised, etc.) to go even if there wasn’t any leave? Maybe. Should I refuse to go based on that? Nope, that is hypothetical and deciding not to go based on an imaginary scenario is probably not a good idea.

For

Lots of positives.

  • Better environment than the psychiatric ward, more space (multiple rooms; kitchen, living area and garden to access)
  • I can have a power cord to plug my laptop in while using it (and a desk to use it on)
  • Own bathroom, no more sharing.
  • Psychologist who wants to help with my OCD
  • Staff (care coordinator and ward staff) view it as a good step forward.

Conclusion?

I feel like I should go. That it’s probably the right option. I’m just not convinced that I want to go.

Although as that that was how I felt about going onto a ward back in January and going onto the ward (eventually) helped, maybe this place will too.

Informal, or not?

recoverymaybeLeave a comment

My section 2, compelling me to remain on a psychiatric ward for 28 days (or until discharge, whichever is sooner) is going to expire next week.

I’ve been told that I can’t go back to my flat, yet, but if I agree to stay on the ward (and not go missing…) they’ll make me an informal patient, otherwise I’m going to get section 3 applied to make sure I stay, probably for another week or so, not the full 6 months!

I know that being informal would give me a lot more freedom, no more limits on leave, I just have to sleep in hospital and take medication at the right time.

However I don’t feel able to agree to stay, or agree to not go missing, as I 100% do not want to be here. The main reason for not going missing at the moment is that I’ll just lose my leave (up to 2 hours, unescorted, a day now).

With a section at least it remains perfectly clear how I feel about being in hospital, and no-one can expect me to react as if I want to be in a ward.

Mind you, the staff did get pretty surprised on the second day I was in my current ward, and they had been “too busy” to take me escorted off the ward so I tried forcing my way through the main door. Something about “that’s not the kind of behaviour we expect from you” – referencing the fact that on the previous (voluntary) admission a while ago I hadn’t done anything disruptive.

That’s it for tonight. Guess I’ll find out what I do next week.

Although I guess if my (very active) conscience would just switch off I’d just “agree” to a voluntary admission and use the freedom to go missing. It does interfere with lying to get something I want done a lot!

P.S. Sectioned or informal doesn’t feel very much like a choice…