Recovery, Maybe?

Warning: If you think about or have experience of self-harm or suicidal thoughts this post may be triggering

Yes, actually. I’m in A&E yet again, with yet another deliberate overdose.

This one is unusual for more than one reason.

Firstly, it’s been a significant amount of time since the last one took place.

Secondly, it was to replace an even worse behaviour, hanging myself.

At about 22 shops:00 my mind said (paraphrasing) “You’re gonna feel crap when you wake up tomorrow, might as well self harm now. Hang yourself”.

My response “Ok, I agree, let’s see how practical it is”

After testing a ligature point, I said to my mind “Is an overdose good enough to keep you quiet?”

My mind, “Yeah, that’s sufficiently bad”

At which point I looked up which shops were still open, purchased the medication, and after a few delays, took it.

I did immediately tell someone I’d taken it, and go straight to A&E, so there’s that, but as always it would have been preferably to avoid the self-harm in the first place.